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  • Ayanna A.

Lean back.


There have been seasons in my life that I felt I was sinking in a quicksand of fears and bad news, worries and self-doubts, and an overwhelming sense of dread for the future. When we cannot see light at the end of our journeying through the valley of the shadow we can begin to lose hope for brighter days.


I know I have felt that way.


The Covid-19 quarantine has afforded me time that I have not previously had. It has given me space to think, and ponder. Selah.


I've been presented with opportunities to face those thoughts and imaginations lurking in dark corners of my mind.


To open closets of deep emotions I stuffed in closets praying to not see the light of day. As if I putting them in a corner and closing the door could really make them disappear.


And I began to take inventory.


And overwhelm creeped in. Then I read something that encouraged me,


It was not until years later I learned how the suction of quicksand increases when you struggle to get free. To keep from sinking you need only to resist the natural urge to struggle and instead spread your arms wide, tilt back your head, and float quietly on the surface. You will not sink as you wait to be rescued.

John Westfall, Coloring Outside the Lines


So I tried it. Rather than resist the overwhelm of crushing thoughts and rising emotions, I faced them. I allowed myself to settle in the moment, opened my arms wide to heaven, lifted my head towards my Father who loves me, and trusted that I would rise. Trusted that I am seen, and eternally loved. And trusted that because I am loved, I would be rescued in the midst of my affliction.


I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,

and he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,

out of the mud and the mire.

He set my feet on solid ground

and steadied me as I walked along.

Psalm 40:1-2


It is not easy, this business of facing ourselves. It is not for the faint of heart or the soft of mind.


It takes a courageous confidence to look at our reflection in the mirror as we really are. Without all the strappings. And an even greater resolve to accept who we see staring back at us.


May you and I always find the courage to trust who God created in us, and rest assured that He will come to our rescue.


Photo by Fillipe Gomes from Pexels


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