Knowing what you know now, if you could do it all over again, would you?
For me, yes. In a heart beat.
A soul needs victory, for we were created to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.
I promise, if you keep walking with God, and don't give up mid-process, you will see His goodness in the land of the living.
After his father Jacob died, Joseph went back and praised over the very pit where his soul was traumatized 39 years prior. A place of dark memories was a place-- after the fullness of time-- where Joseph could praise God.
Joseph could have never become "Joseph" if he hadn't been in that pit!
But how did he get there?
And he said to him, Here am I.
His father called Joseph, and Joseph answered. His father Jacob sent him on an assignment to check on his brothers, and Joseph went.
Joseph had no way of knowing obeying his father's voice would lead him to a pit, into human trafficking, slavery, a prisoner, then finally rulership in the most powerful nation in the world (Genesis 37-50).
Through God's Divine Providence in some kind of way he caused every stop along the way not only to work for Joseph's good, but to become integral stops on his journey that were necessary to prepare Joseph for his place of destiny.
So too with us.
Let's re-read that scripture through the analogy that not just his early father called Joseph, but his Heavenly Father called him, and Joseph answered.
And [Joseph] said to [his Father], Here am I.
And [His Father] said to [Joseph], Go, I pray thee,
Have you ever been called? Felt like heaven singled you out by name?
It is one thing to be called. It is an entirely different thing to answer a call.
For many are called, but few are chosen.
Matthew 22:14 NLT
When heaven makes a request for you, and you say yes, it is as if we are saying "Here am I."
Like Joseph, we recognize our Father's voice. Sure, we can chose to drown it out by the distractions and noise of this world. But a deep part of us knows when he calls us, and we know when we are running from his voice.
Rather than ignore Him, we answer. We go to Him and present ourselves before our Father, ready for the master's use.
...he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.
2 Timothy 2:21 NKJV
And Our Heavenly Father can send us on assignments as He so chooses.
Along the way to our purpose, we can encounter what looks like disasters, tragedies, injustices, betrayals. Unimaginable hardships and confounding detours. That's because we only see on a granular level. We cannot see the pattern God is weaving with the story of our lives.
Photo credit: @KarolinaGabowska from Pexels
Like a tapestry, on the underside the design is disfigured and difficult to discern. But looking from the top of the tapestry, there is an intricate and beautiful pattern being woven with every color and every strand.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV
On this side of eternity we live in time, and it is filled with shadows. Often the image God is crafting with the story of our lives is obscured.
But I am convinced in eternity, we will see perfectly.
Until then we keep walking with Him, by faith. Even if is looks as though by all measures we have been abandoned by the very God we love.
The very God we said yes to.
As with Joseph, so in our lives, God does not waste any moment of our process or our pain.
God does not just turn what was evil for our good. He's big enough to use our experience going through the bad to train us for our place of blessing.